Book

Below is an excerpt from the book!

Say Something Big.

Feel Your Boobies.® Find Your Voice.

stories about little lumps Inspiring big changes.

Introduction

I’ve been very public about my breast cancer journey - an open book if you will. I started the Feel Your Boobies Foundation in 2004, soon after my breast cancer diagnosis at age 33. And from that point on, I’ve probably talked about my story every day since.

But this book isn’t just about MY story, it’s a collection of stories. Stories that uncover the underbelly of an unexpected diagnosis, highlight the humor you can appreciate only in retrospect, and share the insights that slowly emerge once the dust clears. Sharing stories is powerful. They heal those who are brave enough to share their own, and make those just starting on their journey feel less alone. 

The stories of the five women in this book, on the surface, all sound similar—young women who found their own lump and got breast cancer at an age they weren’t supposed to. Below the surface, however, the details of their stories are very different. Their highs and lows came at different and unexpected times. Their choices about how to best navigate their path through treatment were very personal because they each came into it with different world views. But the most remarkable and consistent thread through each of their stories is what happened after breast cancer - through little actions and changes they made, they have said something BIG. And that’s what has drawn me to each of these women and compelled me to share their stories here.

For all of these young women, their plan fell apart at a time in their life when things were just starting to come together. The plans they had in place were put on hold and were replaced by questions with no answers. But as the pieces of their lives started to come back together a new plan took form, question marks turned into answers, and each of them found a new path and passion in life; one that involved using their gifts to change the world. And because they chose this new path, they each have healed in a more complete way than than they ever could have on the path they previously traveled.

All of these women have come into my life because of the work I have done through Feel Your Boobies®. Some because of our campaign, some just by happenstance because they, like me, have focused their efforts to make a difference in the breast cancer community.

In the early years of Feel Your Boobies® I approached our campaigns and outreach efforts as a passion project. I worked to create ways to get the “feel your boobies” message in front of young women who weren’t thinking much about breast cancer.  Women just like me before I was diagnosed. Our early campaigns focused on the use of social media to spread our message and, while our campaigns went viral in some cases, I wondered if the message was really making a difference. Were people actually paying attention?

And then I received my first email that told me they were. It was from Holly, a young mom in her 30’s from Arizona. She found a lump because of a “feel your boobies” post a friend shared and it prompted her to feel her breasts that day. It was breast cancer and she was writing to let me know that our campaign saved her life. I got chills. It was working. Then soon after, I received a similar email from another young woman, Janette, in Kansas City. She too attributed our campaign with the reason why she found her lump. Hers was cancer too. And over the years there were others. Stories that reminded me that our work was important and that “feel your boobies” was more than just a passion project. It had a place in this world and it was making a difference.

Over the years, through attending conferences and other events for young women diagnosed with breast cancer I’ve met others who found their own lumps. Not through our campaign, but in the same manner as the other women. They just noticed something that didn’t feel right and eventually was determined to be breast cancer. Young women like Dana, who I met at a Young Survival Coalition conference where we both were exhibitors at the conference. Her story captivated me and we continued our friendship after the conference.

A few years later, when Feel Your Boobies® was producing a video for use on college campuses I contacted Dana to help me find some young women to include in the film. And that’s when I met Maggie. She agreed to make the trip from Baltimore to Philadelphia to speak on camera about her story. I had never met someone as young as Maggie who was diagnosed and I was honored to be able to put her story in front of hundreds of young women on the colleges campuses that would be viewing the video.

And then there’s Tyrisha. The way we met was one of those chance meetings when the universe puts you in the same place at the same time because something bigger is going on. I was at the printer to check on some Feel Your Boobies® materials before heading to the office. At the counter was a young black woman and her mother. They were picking up posters for an upcoming breast cancer event. We all got to talking and I explained that I was a survivor too. And I shared with her what Feel Your Boobies® was all about - educating young women. Then Tyrisha shared with me that she was a survivor too and that she had just been re-diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer a few weeks earlier. It had spread to her lungs and liver. 

We exchanged our information so we could keep in touch, and a few weeks later I invited her to join me on a radio show to discuss a new project the Foundation was taking on related to educating at risk African American young women. I was hoping she would be willing to share her story to underscore the importance of educating minority young women. Statistically speaking, black women are diagnosed at a younger age than white women and have a higher mortality rate once diagnosed. I felt her story was important for others to hear but wasn’t aware that she only recently had started to talk openly about her story. She enthusiastically agreed.

The day came for the radio show and in walked Tyrisha. Her smile lit up the room. Her giggle was contagious. The sheer rawness of her story gave me a lump in my throat. And then the interview was over. She told me she wanted to do the interview to help someone else face their day with a renewed perspective. Her story, broadcast far and wide, traveled out into the world. And like that, Tyrisha, the superhero, hugged me goodbye and off she went so she could get to chemo on time.

These women inspire me, and I have no doubt they will inspire you too. Whether you just received this unwelcomed news, you’re a caregiver or friend who’s scared and confused about how to support a loved one throughout this tough time, or maybe you just dig lemons to lemonade stories, this book will provide humor and insight. Breast cancer affects more than just the person diagnosed. Its ripple effects are tidal and the storm doesn’t calm for quite some time. 

When you receive a breast cancer diagnosis, the world feels like it freezes in time. You reflect on your past and look to the future in ways you never have before. Days immediately seem more precious and the idea that they may now be numbered changes everything.

When talking to each of these to learn more about their stories, I noticed that we all remember the journey in these same distinct chunks. And each chunk is etched in our minds like a mental photo album. These memories are so vivid that they can take us back to the exact situation and evoke emotion in us as if we have traveled back in time. This book uses these chunks as a road map through each of our journeys to provide comfort, humor, and insight that can provide support during any step along the way.

The raw emotion experienced during breast cancer never goes away, even years later. But in time, the clarity that slowly moves to the surface is humbling.  You begin to realize that you’ve gained perspective on things that previously were overwhelming. And this perspective starts to change you. Not just during the days of your breast cancer journey, but in all that days that follow.

I hope this book helps you navigate the storm in all of its stages, provides wisdom and perspective, makes you laugh, and maybe even cry—but most importantly shows you that there is life after breast cancer. And that what’s coming your way might be bigger than you can even imagine from where you currently sit. 

Getting breast cancer wasn’t your choice, but what you do next is.